


Who Ben is Now

by EmeraldGreen4Life



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-13 23:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5720182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldGreen4Life/pseuds/EmeraldGreen4Life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She had hidden so long from the outside world. No one could know about her force sensitivity. But Ben Solo had known, and Kylo Ren had not forgotten. </p><p>  A princess is taken captive. A darkened soul struggles with the light inside the girl he once loved. Allevra's world has fallen apart, and it is all just to find out who Ben Solo is now.<br/>KyloxOC</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They had caught me. After years and years of hiding from the First Order and keeping my sensitivity to the force a secret, they had finally caught me.

And I wasn't going down without a fight.

For almost two years I had hidden in the forests of Yavin, desperate to live in isolation so as not to capture attention from the Order or the Resistance. The fight going on between them was so bloody, so deadly that I was desperate not to be a part of it. The force was not very strong in me, but it was indeed present. I did not want to be torn apart by the pull of the light and dark; the constant internal conflict that so often tortured the Sith and Jedi.

And the worst part? I thought that I was going to get away with it. I thought that I was going to be able to hide my abilities during a time in which the few souls left with the force were being sought out by both sides of the fight. It seemed like there was no one in the galaxy that had any idea about the force's presence within me.

But of course, I had forgotten about him.

Ben Solo. The boy that I had spent so much of my early childhood with. The only person that I had ever trusted enough to discuss my affinity of the force with. He had known.

And he had not forgotten.

It must have been very early in the morning when they had arrived, for sunlight had not yet reached through the cracks of the hut that I usually slept in. I had woken up, however, to the sound of a large vessel landing in a clearing several hundred feet away.

Living in hiding for so long had made me easily frightened. In all reality, I had no idea whom it could be that had landed just outside the area I called home. Regardless, a surprise visit by anyone was not welcome, so I quickly sprang from my small cot. Panicked, I grabbed the one weapon I possessed, a slightly dull knife, and exited the hut.

Through the densely scattered trees, I spotted a large ship. Although I could barely see the details of the vehicle, it did not look friendly. I could hear my heartbeat thump in my ears as a strange, loud hissing sound erupted through the woods. Within seconds, a door had opened from the front of the ship. A long, angled piece of metal stretched out to connect the ship's entrance to the ground. What happened next sent shivers down my spine.

I watched, paralyzed with fear, as a brigade of Stormtroopers came marching out. There were quite a few, perhaps forty, and they were all heavily armed. But that was the least of my worries.

After the Stormtroopers had exited the ship, a dark, cloaked figure appeared from behind them. He was dressed completely in black and his face was shrouded by a metallic helmet. For a moment, I thought that I was looking at Darth Vader. However, I quickly reminded myself that said man was long gone.

It was only then, as the terrifying being turned to gaze out at the lush forest, that I thought to run.

I darted in the opposite direction, desperate to escape. The trees seemed to whiz past me as I fled, pushing my legs to their limit.

"The First Order has come for me," I thought.

Suddenly, shots began to fire in my direction. I chanced a look back at my attackers, finding that the troopers were hot on my tail. Desperately, I pushed myself to run faster. Unfortunately though, it seemed that there was not much more speed that I could obtain.

After almost another whole minute of running, I found myself face to face with the river that I usually got my water from. I dropped my knife to the ground.

"Shit," I cursed out loud, knowing that the water was deep. I had never been a good swimmer, but it seemed that crossing the river was my only hope. I pushed all of the fear within me aside, knowing that I had no other choice. With a final breath, I leapt into the water.

My idea had quickly proven to be flawed. The shock of the cold water suddenly surrounding me had been enough to knock the air from my lungs. The water was too blurry to see anything, and I could barely tell down from up. Using the strength I had left, I clawed my way back to the surface, gulping for air when my head finally popped up from the water.

I tried to swim. I really did. But the current was impossibly strong. What had looked like such a calm and gentle river from the surface was actually a powerful beast underneath. I kicked and kicked and moved my arms desperately, attempting to make my way to the other side. But it was too late. Someone else got to me first.

All of the sudden, I could no longer move my limbs to stay afloat. It was as if some invisible monster was holding me in place. I attempted to cry out, but even my lips seemed unable to move. I thought for sure that I was going to sink to the bottom of the river like a heavy anchor, but in actuality, I began to float backwards.

The other side of the river grew farther and farther away as I was pulled right back to the spot that I had jumped in. When I felt the muddy bank of the river against my back, a set of arms pulled me up and hoisted me to the solid ground above.

There, standing above my frozen figure, was the cloaked man from earlier.

He was surrounded by Stormtroopers on all sides, and they all had their weapons pointed straight at me. I could feel the cold and muddy water dripping off of my body and onto the forest floor, but I still could not move to dry myself. It seemed that the cloaked man was using the force to keep me in place.

The man looked down at my shaking form. I wondered what kind of hideous monster was hiding behind that mask. Whatever this being was, his power was causing my body to radiate fear. If I could move myself at all, I would probably have been cowering in terror.

He spoke with a voice that reminded me even more of Vader. His helmet seemed to change his tone to be robotic and low. "TN1815."

Was he speaking in code? I didn't understand. The man did not take his eyes off me, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw a Stormtrooper approach the man's side.

"Inform General Hux that we have found the girl. Prepare a holding cell for her."

My stomach turned into a queasy pile of mush. They were capturing me. They were taking me on board.

The Stormtrooper obeyed his leader's orders. I watched, terrified and helpless as the masked man brought his other hand up to the side of my head.

"Sleep," he told me.

And I did.

 

A/N: Hello. :) My name is Alexa and I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read the first chapter of my new story. Originally, this had been put up under a different name, but I decided to revise the story and basically start over completely. I'm very satisfied with the layout of this chapter. If you like the work and would like to read more, please please give a comment, send a message, or add the story to your list. It would be much appreciated. :) I plan to update quickly if people like the story, so please let me know. Thanks!


	2. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two of the series! Allevra has been kidnapped, but what will happen next?

Confused.  
When I woke up, that was exactly how I felt: Confused. I opened my eyes to find that I was trapped inside a small metal room. There were no windows, just a large door directly in front of me. The low hum that I heard told me that I was indeed in a spaceship of sorts. Captured. Defeated.   
As for myself, I was strapped onto some sort of metal table. The device was angled slightly so that I was leaning back, but not horizontal enough to make me comfortable. My limbs were sore and weak, and my clothing was muddy and damp from my previous dip in the river.   
The river.   
And just like that, it all came flooding back to me. The ship. The Stormtroopers. The man in the cloak. It had all been real.  
However, before I had any more time to panic, the doors in front of me swooshed open.   
My heart practically stopped in my chest as I watched the darkly dressed man from earlier walk into the room. He still wore his helmet, although the hood of his cape had found its way off of his head and onto his shoulders. He stopped just two feet away from where I had been placed and (as far as I could tell) looked straight at me.   
Looking into that mask was just too intimidating. Nervously, I turned my head away from the figure and onto the floor, focusing my gaze at a scuff on the black tiles below.   
“Look at me.”   
His voice was so chilling that I almost found myself obeying his orders. Something inside of me though, a gut feeling, told me that I needed to rebel. Taking in a shaky breath, I fixated my gaze even harder to the scuff on the floor, trying to keep this man out of my head.  
But it was too late. Frustrated with my disobedience, he used the force to reposition my gaze directly onto him. The power that flowed through his fingertips and into my body hurt. This time, I could not look away.   
A lock of my dirty blonde hair fell into my face. To my shock and discomfort, the Vader-like man raised the gloved hand that was not using the force on my cranium and tucked the strands behind my ear. It made my face tingle with distress. He spoke again, the force still locking my head into place. “Hello, Allevra.”  
I gulped, blinking away a look of embarrassment. “He knows my name,” I thought.   
Suddenly, the man stopped his use of the force, allowing me to rest my head slightly. He began pacing around the table that I was strapped to, driving me crazy with fright.   
“I know a lot of things about you. You would probably be surprised.”   
I was shocked. This force-user was powerful enough to read my thoughts. How much did he know? How much could he hear? “You know nothing about me.”   
His low, altered voice seemed to chuckle. I wondered if he was really laughing under that helmet.   
“Let’s see about that, shall we?”  
I froze. The man stopped in front of me.  
“You used to go by ‘Princess Allevra’, but that was a long time ago. You were born on a small planet, Peiamu, and had a fairly happy childhood. But as we both know, happiness does not last forever.”   
I couldn’t tell what I felt more: anger, fear, or confusion. How did this person know so much about me?   
He continued. “You are force-sensitive. You kept it hidden from most everyone. When your parents both perished and your palace all but collapsed, you fled to Yavin, where you’ve spent your time hiding from everyone. From me.”   
The bad feeling down in my gut rose up, threatening to choke me. I stared the dastardly man down, realization slowly making its way outward and into the world.  
“Take that thing off,” I demanded, angry that I could not see his face.  
Once again, he laughed. “Why? So you can see what you already know lies underneath?”  
I felt tears well up in my eyes. The lump in my throat was burning and choking me, and I felt so angry that I was ready to burst. “Take the damn thing off! Just take it off!”  
He did not say anything. Instead, he ever-so-slowly rose a hand up to the side of his helmet, pressing a small button. The device made a small click. As he slid the helmet off, I watched as an all-too-familiar face was brought to light.   
Ben. Ben Solo.  
I should have known.   
A strange sound erupted from my throat; something half-way between a sob and a scream. My shoulders fell as my head hung low, hot tears making their way out of my eyes and down to my chin.   
I cried for him. I cried for the Ben Solo that I had once knew so long ago, for the man in front of me at that moment could not possibly have been him.  
For a second, he simply stood there, silently watching as my emotions unraveled. He looked simply like a more matured version of his younger self, and it absolutely tore me apart. The same nose. The same pale complexion. The same dark brown eyes and feathery hair. Only now, those big eyes that had once held so many dreams for the future were now tainted with darkness. On top of that, a long scar covered the side of his face, tracing all the way from the bridge of his nose to the side of his cheek.   
Now that the helmet had come off, he was no longer a stoic, emotionless man. I could see the slight twinge of a frown at the edge of his lips . . . the way his brows furrowed ever so slightly. As much as he probably hated to admit it, seeing me fall apart so easily had probably brought him some distress.  
I didn’t know what to say. The pain inside of me was too much to bare. Every fiber in my worn body was ready to snap.   
For the first time, he spoke without the aid of his helmet. His voice was low and husky, unlike the voice that I remembered from our childhood together. However, it was indeed Ben’s voice.  
“I’m sorry that seeing my face brings you so much pain.”   
I made no attempt to respond. I simply let the tears continue to flow. I must have looked so weak.   
But to tell you the truth, I was.   
A/N: Hey everyone.  Thanks so much for the support that I’ve gotten on my first chapter. I hope that you liked the second! Please please comment, fave, follow, or pm me to let me know what you think so far!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter in the series.

Neither one of us spoke for a long time. The only sound in the small cabin was the low hum of the ship’s engine and the occasional whimper as I attempted to compose myself. No matter how much seeing Ben’s face upset me, crying would do me no good there.   
“Allevra,” he called out, breaking the silence. I slowly brought my gaze back up to his dark, familiar eyes. My voice didn’t feel strong enough to speak, so I simply stared in hopes that he would continue.   
“Do you know why we’ve brought you here?” he asked.   
I got a little angry hearing that. My jaw must have visibly clenched as a let out an angry laugh. “Do I know why you’ve brought me here? You mean why you kidnapped me, knocked me out, and have physically restrained me until I cannot leave? No, I have no clue.”   
He did not looked surprised at my response. Instead, he slowly reached towards me and undid the straps that attached me to the table. Weakly, I stepped off, rubbing at the small indents that had been made in my wrists.   
“Better?” he asked.   
I looked away, still upset, but nodded. It felt much better to be free from that damn contraption.   
Ben sighed. For a moment, he stayed quiet, as if he was thinking of exactly what he wanted to say. The silence in the room suddenly became too much to bare, and I found myself desperate to end it.   
“Are you going to kill me?” I asked.  
He looked confused, as if I’d shocked or insulted him. “Of course not,” he spoke, his voice low and strong.   
I felt my body relax. I needed to hear that. “Then what?”   
He turned to his helmet, which he had placed on a chair in the corner of the room. It was as if he was examining it; searching it for answers. Did he even know why I was there? Was it even his choice to bring me there in the first place?   
“You’ve been fighting to hide your abilities for a while. Have you not?”   
I didn’t understand how he knew that information, but I nodded nonetheless. His words were correct.   
“It must be hard, always fighting to keep that power deep down within you.”  
I didn’t like the way he talked to me; the way he seemed to somehow know every thought that went through my head. He spoke so confidently.  
“You know nothing about what I go through.” I was mad now.   
Once again, he let out a slight chuckle. It was strange to watch the ghost of a smile on his lips. “Don’t I? Allevra, you remember what it was like when we were children. I saw you struggle to hide your abilities from the world as I struggled with the pull between the light and dark.”   
“Don’t you dare bring up the past, Ben.”  
And then, a truly sinister grin appeared on his face. He closed his eyes and let out a deep laugh. When he opened them back up, his face was dark and serious.  
“Ben Solo no longer exists.”   
There they were again, the hot tears falling instantly. I hated the way that he could make me break so easily. My voice was cracked and shaky when I argued.   
“Of course he does!”  
. . .   
I watched, terrified as he unsheathed the lightsaber that hung at his side. With a simple press of a button, the device turned on, a bright-crimson set of three deadly blades erupting from the end. I shrunk back, nearly petrified by the power of the object. I had never seen a lightsaber before, but he held it so easily, like it was second nature.   
He let out a humongous yell and slashed into the wall behind us. Sparks flew out and I couldn’t help but scream, running to the opposite side of the cabin. This man couldn’t be Ben Solo. He was not the boy I remembered.   
This man -this stranger- continued to slash at the wall, blind with anger. It took what must have been several more minutes of rage before his saber was finally turned off and back in its place on his hip. He turned around to stare at me, gasping for air.   
“Do you see now?!” he yelled. “Would your precious Ben Solo do this?!”  
Pathetically, I shook my head. I was still crouched down in the corner of the room, cowering and tearful.   
He approached me, black boots clanking on the hard floor as he did so. It was all I could do to push myself farther into the corner of the room, wanting nothing more than to seep into the walls and escape. He crouched down to my level, our faces so close that I could feel his hot and labored breaths land upon my cheek.   
“Kylo Ren. That is my name. That is what you will call me. Understood?”  
I felt so defeated. So worthless, as if I’d watched the old Ben die right in front of me. I bit my lip in order to stop its uncontrollable quivering, and nodded.   
Be- . . .Kylo rose to his feet, causing me to then realize just how tall he had grown. Even his height was intimidating. He outstretched his hand, waiting for me to grab hold.   
“Join me, Allevra. I can end the torment within you. I can stop the pain if you just let me teach you how to control it.”   
I stared at his outstretched hand for a moment, unsure of what to say. There was so much turmoil going on inside of my head; so much to process. Would Kylo kill me if I didn’t take him up on his offer?   
At that moment, it just didn’t matter anymore. Gradually, I slid my way up the wall until I’d reached a standing position. Kylo retracted his hand.   
“Is that what you want from me? To turn me into another one of you?! You would never be able to do anything but cause me pain. If you’re truly not the boy I once knew, you can do nothing for me. I want nothing to do with you!” I was screaming now, pushing bravely on Kylo’s chest in order to back him off.   
It was like trying to push against a brick wall. He made no effort to move, nor did he attempt to stop me as I beat at his chest. The tears turned into violent sobs as I continued to hit, my punches growing weaker and weaker.   
“I hate you!” I yelled, trying to use the force to push him away. It was no use, though. My powers were too weak to do so much as slightly shake his torso.   
“And suddenly, Ben Solo . . . Kylo Ren looked sad. There was a twinge of emotion in his eyes, one that gave me a slight bit of hope. Surely, there was a bit of Ben in there somewhere.   
Without warning, the door on the opposite side of the cabin opened up, revealing a redheaded man wearing a black uniform and cap. As he stepped into the room, Kylo backed away from me. As quickly as the twinge of emotion in his eyes had appeared, it was gone, along with any traces of Ben that were left in the room.   
The redhead glanced at the sparks flying from the set of slashes that Kylo had put in the wall and immediately rolled his eyes. I wondered if a tantrum like that was common for Kylo. He then quickly looked at the two of us.   
“Kylo,” he began, reassuring me that the individual beside me was no longer referred to as Ben Solo. “I see you’ve not made much progress with the girl.” 

A/N: Oh my gosh! Hey everybody :). Thank you so very much for all of the amazing responses that I’ve gotten for the story. You all have no idea how much it means. This chapter was surprisingly difficult to write, as I found it hard to write the scene I was imagining in my head. If you perhaps have any ideas for this story for the future, even though it’s just started up, feel free to tell me about it. Again, PLEASE review, follow and all that jazz (reviews make me especially happy). I love you hear what you guys think about it! Thanks again. I can’t wait to write more!


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